My heart: I've been working hard to keep it on lockdown. To use it tactically, like Aleppo pepper or some other wonderful spice that will take over a dish if you let it. And only on the page. Because I'm on the march, with no time for surprise feelings. I have goals. I have things to prove to people who…
Day 1,047: Glittering Podcast Stardom
As one more step toward my childhood dream of becoming a famous alcoholic, I sat down with the wonderful guys from the Since Right Now podcast to talk about lots of stuff, including drinking, sobriety, writing, running, and the impossibility of thinking your way out of addiction. Also about buying chicken in Italy, what A.A. has in…
Day 1,040: A Higher Class of Slog
Something I wrote on day 187 was quoted on another website this week as advice to someone who just hit 9 months and is having that sloggish feeling. You know the one. Some of the difficulty of getting sober has worn off, but so has some of the novelty. You haven't gotten that pony you wanted yet--and worse,…
Day 936: Weightlifting
My co-worker and I slumped against opposite elevator walls like we were riding the Gravitron. "I've been here for three years and this has been the most chaotic week by far," she said. "Same," I said. "Most chaotic week in almost ten years for me." "That makes me feel a little better," she said. At…
Day 929: Check Engine
I just discovered Tammi Salas's blog via a friend. It's great, and you should go read it (after I am done talking at you, of course. That's right. Sit your ass back down!). This bit about her car's check engine light hit me right between the eyes: "My check engine light came on in my car about…
Day 860: Want Not
I've published a new essay over on Medium. It's about the many things that did not get me sober (hypnosis, meditation, sex, making an otter out of felt, etc.--you know, the standard stuff) and the one thing that did (spoiler alert: quitting drinking). It also contains a blow-by-blow description of my Night #1, which might…
Day 831: Let Me Direct Your Attention Over Here…
Hey sober party people, non-party people, and people who just want to put in a quick appearance at the party so they get credit for showing up and then make a beeline for the car-- I've published an essay on Medium about the loneliness of early sobriety, the importance of people who get it, and…
Continue reading ➞ Day 831: Let Me Direct Your Attention Over Here…
Day 778: You Do Not Have to be Good
Do you know the poem? It's by Mary Oliver, who is one of those rare contemporary poets popular with both the literati and more casual readers. If you're not sure, click the link above and read it, and then come back. I'll be here. <makes sandwich, puts clothes in dryer, lets dogs out and in…
Day 730: Two Years Today
Written on day 730 but not posted till day 740 cause, well, a girl gets busy. I put aside the classy, glamorous, life-and-ambition-and-joy-sucking white wine two years ago today. Crazy, right? I don't spend nearly as much time thinking about my drinking days as I used to, but with this date approaching I have been thinking…
Day 483: Woman Walks Into a Room.
I went to my first AA meeting last week. And I also ran my first race, a 10K where the back half was mostly hills. Hey, guess which one was scarier? Yep. I almost didn't go at all, honestly, except that I had decided I would, had even picked a day and time and a neighborhood…
Off-Dry 