Day 2,898: Rat Pellets, Pizza Grease and Great Men

https://youtu.be/dPdSnDJoRzs Aimee Mann is, of course, second to none in the Deadpan Kiss-Off genre. But for me, this somber ballad from Welcome Home delivers a much more devastating blow in its recognition that when two people split, what's lost is not just the attention they paid to each other, but the specific, inimitable quality of…

Day 2,600: An Asterisk by my Name

Elijah Muhammad with Malcolm X. No, it's not random. Patience! Read the post! (Also: isn't Malcolm so handsome?) At some point in this pandemic I lost the ability to carry anything lightly. It's never come easily, has always required effort; yes, I've worked hard at lightness. But now there's no fighting it. Seriousness has descended…

Day 1,944*: Likability Comma Mine

The asterisk above is because after I labeled my last one Day 1,917, Belle commented that she had it as 1,931. She's way more likely to be right than I am, so I'm adjusting. It's actually the second time in the history of Off-Dry that I've realized the day count was off. You wouldn't think…

Day 1,917: Not All Rowboats & Accordians

Last week I was seated at a dinner next to a woman who's writing a recovery memoir. When she found out I'm a published memoirist, she had questions about how I'd structured my book to make publishers like it. "Did you put the message of yours up front?" she asked. "Or tell the story first…

Day 1,779: You’ll See

For several years I've been in this life phase called "friends keep adding me to secret menopause Facebook groups where women gather to share information, vent, and validate the living shit out of each other." I hate it. Sure, at first I was game. I'd jump in and introduce myself and start reading posts and then…