Does the phase “Enjoli lady” mean anything to you? If so, you can head straight on over to Medium to read my new essay about women and booze. If the Enjoli lady doesn’t ring a bell, watch this, imagine growing up with it embedded in your freaking brain, and then go read the essay.
Day 1,134: Enjoli
Published by Kristi Coulter
Author of NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS (MCDxFSG, 2018) and the forthcoming EXIT INTERVIEW (MCDxFSG). I blog at www.offdry.com. View all posts by Kristi Coulter
80 thoughts on “Day 1,134: Enjoli”
Oh my goodness — thanks for this. Enjoli! Once I had children I remembered the old 1970s commercial w the woman who promised her man an “Aviance night” after “a whole, full day of motherhood.” All of these images and messages were so impossible and so toxic. Thanks for this great piece.
I am not sure HOW but I stumbled on this article bouncing from one thing to the next and didn’t realise it was you who had written it. I sent the link to 2 of my friend both of whom said they were planning on printing it and sharing it with others. Funny that it has now appeared in my life via all the sober blogs I read. I reread it and enjoyed it just as much if not more the second time around.
My husband read your article first and then told me I must read it. At first, I was like “OK” with my eyes rolling. Who would have known, this was the best read EVER. Coming from a family and world FULL of alcoholism, your writing fills my space with tremendous peace, laughter, and a few tears. Thank you for the truth. Thank you for helping to affirm that the other side of the pool is no doubt, where I want to be, and where I will remain.
That is such a well observed and we’ll written piece. I’m sober almost 30 years (yeah I know- I’m practically a dinosaur) and wouldn’t go back to booze for anything. Mind you quitting wasn’t so much a choice as a necessity and I got a lot of help.
Gonna read all your stuff now. Thanks!!
Spot on story for me….4 months sober. I realize living in south Florida gave me an excuse to drink. Sunny day, drink. Trip to the beach, drink. New patio furniture, drink. Most of my drinking was done with friends. Most of my “friends” were fellow working mothers of children my sons shared a sports team with (baseball, tennis, basketball etc…).
Nothing like an ice cold beer to get us through a little league game stretched into extra innings. Soccer game? Who’s packing the cooler? Orange slices on top for the kids…mini wine bottles buried in ice for the mom’s, (along with a sleeve of red solo cups, as if pouring cheap wine into a brightly colored cup would throw off the dogs).
I surrounded myself with women that shared my same need for alcohol. I began to look forward to drinking at my children’s sporting events more than the actual event. My kids got hip to this. I was embarrassing them.
Once I stopped drinking my “friends” slowly fell off. We all still attend the same sporting events, cheering on our kids, hoping for a win. They are in the outfield, or huddled together under a palm tree, red solo cups in hand and I am in my air conditioned car, struggling to stay focused. We are cordial to one another, quick bouts of small talk after the games. We will never be friends again, I guess we never really were. Alcohol, our common factor has been cut out. So I am with all you ladies, at the deep end of the pool, sunglasses on, thankful I learned how to swim.
Thanks for writing this essay. It solidified my choice to stop drinking.
Ex-Florida girl myself–grew up in Palm Beach County. I can totally see how very, very easy it would be to over-drink there as an adult. Kudos to you for taking new path!
Considered marriage? To me? How’s now? Does “Now” fit your life?
” Is it so hard to work ten hours for your rightful 77% of a salary” ==> It’s actually seventy-EIGHT percent. After 28 percent taxes, that 77 PLUS seventy-two HUNDREDTHS percent of “man wages.” Don’t short-change yourself!
gifted writer? beyond a doubt.
exploit your precious gift of observation into ‘self’ – see past your culture, your conditioning, your perceptions.
as a writer, you live by your perceptions.
as a human, your perceptions live you.
what an awesome journey! best!
Enjoli reminds me of the word ennui
Me too!! This was a stunning bit of writing. Thank you!
This is amazing. I’ve seen it posted on social media by friends in BigLaw who don’t talk about their drinking but who experience variations on the panel you described almost daily. One friend got a comment along the lines of “scary cause it hits so close to home,” and she replied “exactly!” I wish you could know the reach you are having. I’m sure you have some idea. But you’ve probably saved lives of many more people than have reached out.
If that panel had transpired at the law firm where I used to work, the organizer – rather than commiserating – would have said something like: “that was great, I’m so glad we talked about women thriving here, I thought it was a really productive conversation.” The kool aid is so strong some places. Probably the same stuff Markowicz is drinking. I mean “the fact is that a woman actually trying to have it all, despite knowing how ridiculous that is, doesn’t have time to drink the way the women in Coulter’s article drink.” ?! It’s the most ignorant thing I’ve read on the internet in months. And that says a lot. It’s moronic.
As for me, I’m kind of stunned by the resemblances to my life. I’m in my mid-30’s, I’m a writer by profession. I’ve found college journals of mine lamenting how much I drank waaaay back then, I’ve been at a bottle a day for a while (only 2 glasses when I’m sick!) and I’ve been in the ‘i actually need to quit….now…ish’ phase for almost 2 years. I’m even signed up for a half marathon. And have a list of things that have not worked. Fancy water bottles! Buying sobriety jewelry! Only having red wine in the house! Manicures and new skin-care regimes!
Anyway, thank you. I have so much support and gratitude for the work you are doing.
As a male pastor who counsels both genders I appreciate what you have written about the challenges of being a woman in our modern society. I am very concerned about what a lousy job our culture does of raising men, and your essay about women and drinking has given me fresh insight about our cultural failures. Thank you for your frankness, honesty and bravery in sharing your struggle. God’s peace to you. You are a champion!
Pastor Donald Short
Pilgrim Lutheran Church
I’m on day 120 ish of sobriety, I quit counting but stopped drinking May 1st. I’ve been struggling with all these frustrations that I’ve not been able to articulate. Your essay hit it on the head of the nail. I had not considered my change in perspective,which was short sighted I now realize. I like this side of the pool too. Thank you for the essay, it’s good to know I’m not the only one with these thoughts.
This is like a window to a different and alien world- the parts I can relate to are the ones about being a woman in corporate culture (I’m an engineer and have worked in male-dominated companies for 30 years). The level of drinking- not so much. Sure, I know a few people who are drinkers- but most of my co-workers and nearly all my friends are only occasional drinkers, if that. I’d encourage you to seek out different social circles- there are are plenty of people out there for whom the presence or absence of alcohol is largely irrelevant to their lives. A very effective piece of writing, though.
Absolutely enjoy your witty writing style. Although not familiar with the alcohol situation (I barely drink), I sometimes find myself caught in situations exactly as you describe them (just minus the alcohol thoughts). You are a brave girl for writing and exposing yourself like that.
By far one of the best essays / blogs I’ve ever read. You have completely inspired me, as I’m desperately trying to sort so many things out on my own.
I wanted to let you know that I read this essay the day after it came out, and it was the beginning of the end for me. It hit home in a really deep an unexpected way, and took my daily worrying about my drinking to a place where I really started to confront it as a capital-P Problem. I kept your blog open on my phone’s browser for months (I never keep windows open). The possibility of sobriety was always in the back of my mind since the summer, thanks to you. Last week, I quit drinking after reading “This Naked Mind”. I decided drinking wasn’t doing me any favors. I want to thank you for planting that seed and for writing this.
Wow. I’m just now seeing this and wanted to tell you how much it moved me. I hope you’re doing well and being really, really nice to yourself in early sobriety (because it’s easier that way, and also because you just deserve it!). Would love to hear how it’s going.
Oh my gosh, your article was the first post on my facebook page today, which I considered a gift from the universe since today is my first day of sobriety. Thank you for such an edgy, inspiring, and well-written piece!