What’s that in the photo, you ask? Oh gosh, that’s just my Wool-Felted Sea Otter Kit that I came across while cleaning out a closet yesterday. I bought this potential otter two years ago at a hipster craft shop. It was a rainy, leafy fall day and I’d decided Become a Crafter. Any kind of crafter really–I just needed something to keep my hands busy so I’d get out of the habit of drinking, because I really, really wanted to break that habit and I just knew becoming an experienced felter would soothe me right out of even *wanting* to drink. So I considered all my options, chose this guy because he was rated Easy/Ages 10 and Up, and popped back into my car feeling full of optimism.
So basically I thought this otter would make me quit drinking. Only of course I never even gave him a chance to–in fact, I saw only yesterday that I’d bought the wrong kind of foam pad to go with the kit. So he’s still just Corriedale wool (I have no idea what that is, but it’s on the box and I like the sound of it), beads, and ribbon.
You know what finally did help me quit drinking? *Quitting drinking* helped me to quit drinking. So many schemes and hopes and hypnotherapy sessions under the bridge, and who knows, maybe they all moved me further toward where I needed to go. But eventually I had to just *do* the thing I was most afraid of. And it was okay. Even when it was (is) hard, it was okay. Sitting in that closet yesterday, first I laughed, and then I felt so much compassion for the woman in that craft shop in fall 2011, looking for ways to save herself. Then I said a little prayer that next time I’m in a hard situation that demands action, I’ll remember how bravery can be the most direct route to a better place. And then, yeah, I laughed again.
Day 107. I was afraid of the days after 100, but they are going so fast. Do you guys think I should (try to) make the Sobriety Otter?